I'm a book destroyer...

Soooo, confession and judgement time. I love books. I am a voracious reader (I've read 20 books since June). An ideal day for me would consist of a comfortable perch somewhere, such as a little nook, a couch, my bed, a tree, etc., a blanket to snuggle with, some munchable chocolate, a good book, and no one to disturb me alllll day. I love to lose myself in the world of a book, and I hate leaving it for any reason. I always feel like I've left half of myself in the story, and until I get back to the book I'm stuck hanging in agonizing limbo. I am desperate to return to my book as fast as possible, and quite often stay up reading until the wee hours of the morning. And yes, I have reverted to my childhood habit of reading by the light of a flashlight so that my father, who gets up around 3 or a little later, doesn't notice that I am still up by the light under my door. (Shh! No tattling!)

I especially love reading series of books, rather than just an individual, stand-alone book. Of course there are many excellent books that are not part of any series, but I dearly love finding a good series and knowing that my world doesn't crumble around me at the end of a book, but that it continues on in the next book. Excitement thrills through me as I run to the bookshelf to grab the next book, or snatch it off the waiting pile of library books by my bed, or tear open the package from Amazon that finally appeared. When I finally reach the end of the series, or at least read the most recent book and am left waiting for the author to complete the next book, I feel so lost and confused. Like someone who has just spent the past month in a cave underground who suddenly finds themselves outside, blinking confusedly in the sunlight. Although it really is more like I somehow found a magic portal to another time in another life, in another place, where I spent years losing myself in the marvels and incredible experiences to be had there until I forgot all about my other life. Then one day, everything just ended and I found myself on the other side of a closed door, back in my ordinary room, in my ordinary house, in my ordinary life, feeling completely bereft of the wonder and freedom of that other place. Eventually, after a brief period of mourning, I console myself by finding another book to escape to.

Now beyond all this imaginative otherworldiness of books that I love so much, I really love the physical books themselves. There's something about holding a book in your hands that I just really love. It's similar to how I love physical letters. Of course, I love getting electronic messages, texts, voicemails, and the like, but I love being able to hold and treasure the physical object, lovingly written just for me. It's like a little piece of that other person, sent to me to cherish forever. In a like manner, a physical book is something I can cling to, a tangible portal to another world, a marvelous gift of a magical experience just for me. And let's face it, the covers of books can sometimes almost be the best part! But for all that, the truth is that I'm a book breaker-- a book destroyer. It is a fact that my books are well-loved. I actually prefer paperback books, not only because they are cheaper, but because I can break them. Really it's mostly for practicality and to ensure more comfort and less work on my part. If the book is broken regularly you don't have to hold it open anymore, it stays open on its own. And in the end, the book actually looks worn and traveled, and to me it looks well-loved and used. When I see and hold a book that has been broken many times, I see it as a book that has been loved and fully enjoyed, that has been devoured and experienced, that has been truly owned and used.

So should you ever borrow a book of mine, do not be surprised to find that it is worn and broken, for it has most assuredly been loved. Judge me as a book destroyer if you will, but for my part it is just a sign of my love for that book.