Home! (with a touch of sadness)

For the first time in my college career, I went home for my fall break! Or for that matter, for the first time in my college career I went home at all during fall semester! Freshman and Sophomore years (and yes, I do say FreshMAN, don't give me any of that "politically correct" crap, I don't care! Sheesh, we are mankind!) I did not go home until Christmas break. Now granted, Freshman year I visited my sister out in Chicago once during the semester and stayed with her for Thanksgiving, but still, for my very first semester at college, I did not go home. Last year I spent fall break at a friend's house and spent Thanksgiving with my best friend. This year, finally, I went home. Gosh did (do) I ever need home!

I've underestimated how much home means to me. As a freshman, I thought I was so independent, that I wanted to get away from home for a while and would be just fine without my family and everyone else. At the end of first semester, just a couple weeks before heading home, I was hit by a long put-off wave of homesickness that strangely enough hit even harder when I actually was home. It was just seeing my Daddy's huge smile at the airport, being swept up into his big, loving hug, feeling his whiskery kiss on my forehead (from his new growth of what I call his Grandpa Beard), and the way he took my hand as we walked around waiting for my luggage. Just that overwhelmed me with a sense of all that I missed. And then going home to where my siblings where, having stayed up late to see me, I couldn't believe how much I missed them even as I saw them.

Even though that showed me how much I loved and missed my family, I still viewed myself as independent. I did go home for Spring break and the summer, but did not go home at all during the following Fall Semester. That time my sister was no longer going to school the next state over so I couldn't even go visit her a couple times like I did freshman year. Staying at school that whole time was a pretty stupid decision. But then what did I do? I went home for Spring break, but then spent the entire summer at school! Dumb reasons that I regret now, but there were some good things that came out of it.

Now I have finally learned from all my mistakes. I finally realize the value of home and all that it means to me, and I finally went home for break. But now as for why there's sadness. I've realized lately that when I left home for college, I truly left home. Anytime I go back now, it's to visit. I'm not just going to college as a temporary thing, then just go back home when I've finished. At that point, I will only "visit" home again before grad school, visit home on breaks, then after I graduate from there I will need a home and a job of my own. I wish things didn't have to change like that. I just want to go home and stay home with my family. But even that changes. My two older siblings are married and out of the house now. My brother is in school and will leave the house once he graduates. My sister will graduate HS when I graduate college, and will therefore head out somewhere for school. (The youngest brother still has a ways to go.)

Life changes, and I'm not so sure I like it. But I'm going to do my best to enjoy the time I have left with my family and make the most of it.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Plan me no plans, I'm in no rush.

So it seems that everyone wants to play matchmaker for Rachel right now. ??? *sigh*

Rachel has become immersed in the Greencastle culture and community since she spent all her summer here and really got to know the people. She now has many wonderful friends in the community (adults, she loves adults), that she has various activities, concerts, rehearsals, meetings, and church with. So now what happens to her? The women take deep interest in her personal life and ask her about relationships, some even going so far as to hint at particular people and try to set her up. Bah. Rachel doesn't need or want that right now. She is just too busy, not ready for all that, and is actually pretty happy with life right now. (plus she is going on for several more years of schooling after she graduates in '11, so why bother with a boy right now?) Tonight was the first time that a man tried to play matchmaker for Rachel. Yeah, interesting. Let me tell you something, no matter how nice a guy is and no matter how much fun you can have hanging out with him as a friend, a 20 year old girl and a 39 year old guy just isn't going to work. (there are other reasons, but that is definitely the most obvious.) It is, admittedly, rather amusing, but definitely not what Rachel needs right now.

Anyway, Rachel will stop speaking in the third person, end her little blurb, and go back to her homework.

A fun night to close off a very stressful week.

My weeks are just a continuous cycle of stress, with this past week being the worst one yet. But last night I had a wonderful time! My professor for my Words in German music class wanted us to go see Die Zauberflöte together next month since we'll be studying it, but there was another opera this weekend called Ariadne auf Naxos. Neither are required, but Die Zauberflöte is highly recommended and Ariadne auf Naxos was just a good idea. Well, the prof didn't bring up the opera this weekend until Monday.... so it was difficult to figure out who wanted to/was able to go, and work out those details. Three of us wanted to go, but none of us have cars and I am the only one with a driver's license. So.... yeah, complicated. One of the girls thought she could borrow a room-mates car, but we found out last night that nope, no car. So... we got out of orchestra rehearsal at 5:30 knowing we would have to leave by 6:30, and had no car. The girl who said she could get the car decided not to go, so the other girl and myself were going crazy trying to find someone with a car that either we could borrow or who wanted to come along. (our prof lives an hour away so we couldn't get a ride from him or anything.) Finally, after a lot of asking and stressing, I was able to borrow one of my room-mates cars. That was 6:30. I then had to run from the other girl's house to go print up directions on my way to my duplex on the opposite side of campus. We both changed super quickly, I grabbed the keys to the car and picked up the other girl and we were off at about 6:45. (according to the directions, it's supposed to take 1 hour 7 minutes, and the opera started at 8. really cutting it close.) I decided I would have to speed the whole way, at least 5 miles over the limit. I don't like to speed. The worst part is that the highways here in Indiana are 70... minimum of 65. I had never gone that fast before. I also have a terrible sense of direction and hate driving when I have no clue where I'm going. But we were a good team. I had a great time getting to know the other girl better on the way. We arrived at the opera just barely in time to get tickets, but had to sit in the back of the ground floor for the first act since we wouldn't be able to get to our seats in the third balcony in time. At the end of the first act, we went up to the third balcony and showed the ushers our tickets, and they told us that if we wanted to, we could go down to the second balcony and take some of the free seats there. So- we ended up sitting in some box seats that would have been really pricey, hehe! We had a great view of the pit, but it was actually kindof awkward to lean over the rail a little bit to see some of the action on stage. But anyway, back to intermission, because this part is important. After we took our seats in the balcony, our prof started talking to us about our past opera experiences. He had already found out that I had never been before, and was asking the other girl what she had seen and where. Then he turned to me and asked where I was from. I told him from CT and he said yeah, I thought so since I noticed that your area code when you called me was 860. At first I thought it was my mom since she still lives in CT. It turns out that he grew up in Storrs and I live in North Windham, mere minutes away! We were both so surprised to find that out about each other and immediately started talking about the area and what we new about it. So cool!

After the opera was over, the other girl and myself headed out to find a gas station and then make our way back. (It was already 11 at night.) On the way back, we looked through some of my room-mates CD's and ended up listening to Michael Jackson.... after seeing a Strauss opera... and then found out we both listened to NPR shows and started talking about Prairie Home Companion, Car Talk, etc. So cool! Once we got back to campus, I watched the end of the Mask of Zorro with my room-mates, love that movie! Very strange sequence to the night though. Dress rehearsal for concert celebrating the 125 anniversary of the school of music, Strauss opera, Michael Jackson, NPR, then the Mask of Zorro. But heck, it was a lot of fun! (the to top it off I slept until 1:00. Loveliness! So yeah, it was a wonderful night to make up for a terrible week.

I am now listening to some more Michael Jackson... (whom I've never really listened to before)...writing this post, obviously, working on a crocheted hat, and waiting for the wonderful dinner two of my room-mates are making, after which I shall proceed on to the 125 anniversary, Old Gold weekend concert! Woot!!!