I miss school

My brother and various other people may think I'm crazy for it, but I truly do miss school. Yes, I mostly miss DePauw, my friends there, the professors, the community, and just the campus, but I also just miss being in school. I am so tired of being home, and I haven't even spent the entire summer here, either. I spent a week in PA for Creation Fest, spent another half a week in PA a couple months later, and am planning a visit to PA and OH in three weeks time. But still, I've been home for far too long. I really miss the freedom I have on campus. The freedom to wander whenever I get the urge, to change locations as often as I want, and socialize with whoever I want or just avoid people whenever I want. When I'm home, I'm stuck at home. I just have the one house. I live on a tiny, secluded little street, and I don't know any of my neighbors. I have spent my entire life in this house, but the only neighbors I once knew moved away years ago. The rest are mainly old retired folk. If I ever want to go anywhere else, I have to make a big ordeal of it with lots of planning, and I have to ask to use one of my parents' cars. And even then, I'd be alone. At school, I could easily walk from my duplex to the music building, or the park, the library, one of my trees, a friend's place, etc. Even if I started out alone, I could always have the guarantee of meeting some people along the way or at one of my destinations. But the biggest thing is that whenever I tired of being in one place, I could just get up and go wherever I wanted to. I so miss my night-time wandering of the campus. I miss my little study parties in the music building, I miss my late-night taco bell runs with my "little brother", I miss my girly nights at the duplex, I miss my fireside knitters, and I miss my classes.

It sounds weird, but in a way, I do actually miss homework. Yeah, it was a pain, but I always felt fulfilled when it was done, and especially when I knew it was done well. I really do enjoy learning things, and especially when it involves a passion of mine. Pretty much anything music related will get me going, and the nerdier the better. As my time at DePauw progressed, Psychology began to have a similar effect on me, and I will occasionally have minor geek-outs about psychology as well as music.  I really miss feeling like I was going somewhere with my life, or at least preparing to.... Now I'm just kindof stuck, have a rather useless degree, and nothing to do. Yes, I am planning on continuing my education, and finally doing what I know I want to do with my life, and hopefully I can start that venture in the spring. But for now, I'm stuck missing everything. And missing everyone.

Though I am more introverted, and am generally uncomfortable with people, I really, truly miss all the people at DePauw. I had a lot of friends (to some degree or another) at DePauw, and I am really missing that now. All my friends from home are either still in school somewhere, graduated with a job somewhere, or married.... and I feel very much alone. I'm stuck at home with nowhere to go, and no one to talk with or go places with anyway. I don't even really have a way of meeting and hanging out with people. I'm trying to work on that, though. I've never been the kind to just go up to people, introduce myself, and engage them in conversation. It's rather inconvenient.... But all the same, I am so tired of sitting at home, or going to work all by myself. Until this point I've been working the closing shift at the Big Y bakery, which is a solo shift except on weekends, but I am now being trained to do morning work, which is with other people. But I still don't have friends or even just random people to hang out with. I'm stuck with going to work and being at home. I cannot wait to start school again.

My plan of action:
Get into grad school, and stay there as much as possible (aka, summer sessions and the like)
Learn all the things I've been wanting to
Finally start a career in the field I long to work in
Get a home of my own
And somewhere in there I will get married

A whirlwind journey over four years.

A lot can happen in just four years. I've been thinking about the past four years a lot today in particular. In some ways they feel like so much more than just four years, but in other ways, I cannot believe that it's been four years. The time has passed all too quickly. And man has there been a lot packed into those four years. Today was actually a special day for me. On the surface it was just like any other day- work at the post office, some studying, paper writing, orchestra rehearsal, class, group project meeting, more homework (and soon to be closed off by a talk with my boy), but this day held much more significance for me. Four years ago today, I undertook what I hoped (and still hope) was the final step in dealing with a problem I've had to deal with since I was 9 (well, officially then, though I actually had it years before then). Namely-- Four years ago today I went under the knife for my second major brain surgery (first one was when I was 9). Yeah, not all of you knew about that, did you? So I'll just go ahead and say it-- I have epilepsy, caused by a brain tumor, Oligodendroglioma to be specific. I tend to avoid the subject for the most part. When I was much younger, I didn't really care too much and didn't really think about it. I really closed off on the subject when I was about 15 or so. That was when the seizures returned. As I approached the time for surgery number two, I tried to force myself to deal with everything by pretending it wasn't a big deal and making myself talk about it. After I went to college that fall, however, I hid away that part of me from most everyone. It wasn't until a couple years ago that I really explored just why I felt the need to hide this part of me and discovered a lot of trauma and hard memories buried away in my past that I didn't want to confront. Though I still feel rather uncomfortable on the subject, I have now been able to address the issues and fears from my past, and accept them. I cannot adequately express how grateful I am to the people who have been instrumental in this process in at least some small way, with a couple particular people helping in major ways.

Perhaps someday I'll come back to this subject, but I just wanted to start with it as it's what got me thinking about time and the past four years in the first place. (I also want to finish this post before it becomes midnight and is no longer technically "today".) So after that surgery, there was a long recovery process. I still had some high school work to finish up, and then I gave a senior recital during the summer. In the fall, I was off to college. Actually, if you look back at four years ago today, that was such a pivot point for me and my life. The surgery brought me from a place of struggling with my epilepsy to the point of being past it, hopefully for good. At that point in time, I was also reaching the end of the life I had always known, at home, a "homeschooler". In the fall, I would go off to college, way out in Indiana, and start a new chapter in my life. College has brought so many changes into my life and has been such a whirlwind four years. I feel like I've been here for so long. Almost like I've always been here, and of course I'll always be here. But at the same time, it feels so short, and I am NOT ready for it to be over.

In these four years, I have made many wonderful friendships, have experienced the ups and downs of relationships, discovered a deep love for music theory (what can I say? I'm a nerd!), have developed close ties with many of my professors and with the community, have truly received a "well-rounded education", have finally discovered my passion and have a direction for my future, have been blessed to participate in four weddings (bridal party for two of them and music for the other two), and have learned so much about myself. You know what I've realized? Some people may say you change a lot during these years, and maybe some people do, but I don't think that's really the case for me. Of course I'm not exactly the same as I was four years ago, but it's not so much that I've changed but that I've grown. I am very much the same me, but I now know who I am more than I used to, have learned to open up and accept who I am and what I've been through, and have developed from there. I am not a different me now, I am just a fuller me, a more realized me, a real me.

The past four years have seen times of pain, of struggle, of tears, of despair, and of deep hurt; but they have also seen times of joy, of smiles, of silliness, of laughter, and of hope. And right now, I think I can safely say that I am at the best place I can ever remember being. I know what I want for my life. I may not know exactly how to get there, but I have a dream to follow. I have dealt with the demons in my past, and am in the process of leaving those shadows far behind. I am a much fuller version of me, and am so much more comfortable with myself than I have been since I was a young, oblivious child. And right now, I am in a relationship with a wonderful man, and it is so much better than anything I could have ever dreamed possible. I cannot keep from smiling and constantly have a song in my heart. Though I know I still have things to work through, and I know there will be rough times ahead, right now I am happier than I've ever been. I can now look at my future with great hope.

(And as it is almost midnight, I must post this. The flow is not as great as I would like it to be, and I kinda rushed through a lot of things without much explanation, but I really just wanted to write it all out and get it posted. :P)

Ice Day(s)!

So back home in CT everyone is getting slammed with crazy snow storms. Well, out here in Indiana, we got majorly slammed with an ice storm! By yesterday evening the county had issued a level 1 weather emergency, and travel was restricted to emergency vehicles only. The University was closed down yesterday and today as well. This is a pic from yesterday, before phase two of the ice hit, but you can see already how the trees were laden down by the ice. It was crazy! Well, it still is, and it's even worse. We've had lots of falling limbs and power lines.

The branches don't look like this anymore, as now they have at least a full inch of ice on them, but this pic will give you an idea, anyway. Just before phase two started to hit yesterday evening, I went outside with two of my roommates to have a bit of an adventure in the ice. The cars were (still are) completely iced over. Like, there is no way anyone is going to get in their car for a very long time. One car we saw on the side of a road had been completely smashed in the back by a giant, ice-covered limb that had fallen. It was sad.

It is very Narnia looking out there-- Always winter, never spring. It certainly looks like everything is permanently frozen over, has been for a long time, and will continue to be for an indefinite amount of time. It's actually really cool! I know it's scary, how much ice there is covering everything, but it's so beautiful! I'm so glad we haven't had classes, so I can just enjoy seeing the ice out there. And not die while trying to walk through it.....

This is how the grass looked yesterday.... Individual blades were coated with ice, and it was so amazing! When we ventured out to explore and adventurize, we had a lot of fun crunching across the grass, feeling it break under our feet. Hahaha, it was like a premature stress-reliever. (we've only had one day of classes so far this semester, so not much stress has built up yet, but still....) One of the girls was so funny. She is one of the sweetest creatures you will ever meet, and she was the one to get us started stomping on the grass. She was enjoying "killing" various things, because the were so frozen that if you shook them or tried to crack the ice off, you'd end up actually breaking the branch/leaves/grass/what-have-you off. I stole all these pictures from a very artistic friend of mine who put up a very large album on facebook. I'm hoping someone will put up more pictures from today. This afternoon we all ventured out to the home of a family who lives just off campus.Their eldest daughter graduated from DePauw last year, and the mom is a member of my knitting group.

They are an absolutely wonderful family, and they like to have college students over to their house every Tuesday evening for dinner. Due to the extreme weather conditions yesterday, we postponed dinner until a mid-afternoon deal today. Walking over there was amazing! Due to the new layer of ice, the grass was completely covered, no lumps poking out, and most of the footprints and tracks made in the sidewalks were also filled in. It was so slippery! I slid most of the way, and it was such funnn! I kindof want to go adventuring tonight and slip and slide my way around campus. It would be so awesome by moonlight!

But anyway, I should actually read some stuff for my psych class tomorrow. I just wanted to put up a few pictures and talk about the adventure the past couple days have turned out to be. Fortunately, we never lost power and had to be relocated like a couple places had to be.

None knows the weight of another's burden

The tremendous pressures and stresses of the past two weeks are finally relieved for a while, and I can breathe, relax, and sleep.Well, for a few days anyway, before the craziness picks up again next week. This has actually been a really rough semester for me. I anticipated it would be, due to the nature of the classes I was signed up for, but I wasn't quite prepared for how hard it's been in a variety of ways.Things build up over time, and it gets hard to deal with it all. I'm  getting really tired of bearing this burden. You know, there are two ways things can go. A burden can seem lighter over time as you grow more able to bear it, or over time the burden can wear you down and become too much to bear. Carrying a burden over an extended period of time can result in growth and a greater endurance and ability to bear it. But, in opposition to that, even the lightest burden can wear a person down if carried long enough. Everyone knows that though their own arms are by no means heavy, but if they extend them out in front of themselves, or to the side, and hold that position for a while, they will get really tired after a period of time and will not be able to sustain the weight of their own arms any more.

I guess I'm in an odd place of simultaneously experiencing both aspects, or the two have become converged somehow. I have become accustomed to my burden to an extent. I'm used to carrying it, I'm used to all that it entails, and many aspects of it are automatic or habitual for me now. But at the same time, I'm getting so tired of it all. So worn down, so burnt out. But like the child being disciplined, I have to keep my arms up, I have to continue to bear the burden, no matter how much it's breaking me down.

Let it all out
get it all out
rip it out remove it
don't be alarmed
when the wound begins to bleed

cause we're so scared to find out
what this life's all about
so scared we're going to lose it
not knowing all along
that's exactly what we need

and today I will trust you with the confidence
of a man who's never known defeat
but tomorrow, upon hearing what I did
I will stare at you in disbelief
oh, inconsistent me
crying out for consistency

and you said I know that this will hurt
but if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember
the end will justify the pain it took to get us there

and I'll let it be known
at times I have shown
signs of all my weakness
but somewhere in me
there is strength

and you promise me
that you believe
in time I will defeat this
cause somewhere in me
there is strength

Yay all-nighters

So..... yeah, I didn't go to bed until 6 this morning, and even then I hardly slept at all due to the constant cycle of information and analysis going through my head. At least I finally finished the great big time line for my symphonic lit class (finished that at 2 am), and created my entire presentation (which kept me busy until 6 am) . I think it went pretty well, despite the technological problems I always have. It was definitely rather intimidating to have the other prof sitting in on the class, but I felt pretty confidant in my materials. (but, meh, my prof made me wear my sandals.... she's noticed that I go barefoot everywhere, has commented on it, but when I showed up to class today she said I needed to put some shoes on. I was very sad at that.) I've discovered that I can stay up all night very successfully. All I have to do is make it past a certain point, usually right around 2 or a little later, and then I get my second wind and I'm alert and good to go the rest of the night. But yeah, I have a couple more super late nights ahead of me. There's still that huge paper due on Friday that I haven't started yet, and my psychology quiz tomorrow. I'm actually intending to get some sleep tonight so that I can survive an all-nighter Thursday night. I probably shouldn't be blogging right now, but I'm rather burnt out and don't want to jump back into any more studying just yet. At least I'll mix things up a bit by studying for psych first, and then spend a couple hours on my paper before sleeping. Tomorrow I'm sure that I will have to stay up all night and morning writing the rest of the paper. Unless....... I can get an extension..... I have never asked for an extension on anything before. It's just not something I think about doing. But I've had several people tell me I should ask my prof for an extension on this so I can actually sleep a little. I know my prof pretty well and he's one of my absolute favorite people here, so I think he'll give me an extension..... but it still feels weird to ask. Makes me feel like I'm not working as hard, or not performing up to par or something. I dunno, it just doesn't feel right. But, I definitely want to sleep, and be able to put more time into this paper. I emailed my prof..... I don't know if he'll check his email before tomorrow, so I will continue with my plan of spending a few hours on the paper tonight before sleeping, then tomorrow I'll find out if I have to do an all-nighter or not.

Actually, want to know a secret? Well, it's not much of a secret really, but I haven't exactly made it public knowledge. It's my birthday today. My 21st, in fact. Of course, my family knows, and many people from back home know through the church newsletter (it contains the birthdays for each month), but I took my birthdate off facebook last year after my birthday and only my closest friends here actually know my birthdate. Knowing that I'd be turning 21, I didn't want all the pressure from everyone about going out to party and drink and all that, so I figured the easiest thing would be to just remove the information.

I suppose you could say (and you'd be right) that today has been the lamest 21st birthday, or just birthday in general. Who wants to spend the first several hours of their special day still up from a night of working on projects? Who wants to go to all their classes, turn in a project and deliver a presentation on their birthday, all while trying to exist on approx. 3 hours of very restless sleep? And then, there's no party, so special dinner, just the normal routine of grabbing food at the hub, and no cake. :( And, haha, I'm not going out for my first "adult" drinks. At least the weather was really nice today, and though I didn't have any special dinner, I didn't have to sit alone but ended up sitting with a friend and talking about our respective plans for the future. (Yay for thinking about grad schools and jobs in the future.) I have gotten several birthday wishes on fb (which I must confess I reactivated solely so that Daddy could tag me in his now traditional birthday tribute album, and so that I can wish him happy birthday tomorrow. After that I will deactivate it again.), was tagged in a really sweet album from when I was young and cute, received birthday texts from my brother and sister, and received a package in the mail from my sister! :) That definitely made my day.

Anyway, I should stop procrastinating and get to work on stuff now. I'll just have to come back to the topic of the oh-so-grand 21st birthday and how I remain individual and independant of the traditional mold another time. And guess what? I just got an email back from my prof saying I can send in my paper on Saturday instead of Friday!!! YESSS! Oh sleep! Wonderful wonderful sleep! We shall become reacquainted and I shall strive to get on better terms with you.

Long Week

It's been a long week, and I have a much longer one ahead of me. I have a presentation in class on Wednesday, the materials for which I need to turn in to my prof tomorrow so she can go over them with me. (I haven't really started on all that yet.) Turns out another prof will be visiting our class that day. yay. Extra pressure. Whatever I come up with for my presentation will end up being time wasted though, since I know my prof will completely change the direction of all of it and I'll have to redo it all. (that's what she did for my earlier presentation, and what she's done for most everyone else in the class.) I also have a giant timeline due on Wednesday for which I've been gathering information most of this week and all weekend. Thursday I have a quiz in Psych, and Friday I have a big paper due for Symphonic Lit. Next week on Tuesday the rough draft for my final paper in Psych is due.... so I will have to work on that this week as well. Oy.

I'm feeling rather burnt out. I have actually been spending a lot of time this week studying and doing my homework, which is good. But the problem is that when I stay up really late working on things, especially score study to prepare for class and such, I just don't sleep well when I go to bed. I tend to have strange dreams anyway, but they seem to be getting more and more restless over the past year or so. Sometimes when the weather is nice, or if I just really need it, I'll go outside and walk around or just sit for a while. Across the way from the set of duplexes I live in is this little athletic park/trail place. I love that little area. I can't tell you how many evenings in the past couple weeks I have gone and just sat on the little slope leading into whatever field that is (field hockey maybe?), or gone and walked through the labyrinth. Actually, I've been spending a lot of time outside. I've been replacing my facebook time with being outside and actually studying more. I don't think a day has gone by in a while that I haven't spent at least half an hour just sitting by the mushroom fountain or somewhere in the athletic park. It's just so much easier to think and pray outside. I've been doing a whole lot of that lately, but I still haven't found the answers I'm looking for.

Remember that puzzle I mentioned earlier? It's hard to say sometimes (and now is one of those times), but I think I've been finding several pieces lately. (Actually, it's probably more like they've been laid out for me to find.) Sometimes I'm just not sure if what I'm finding is a piece or not, and I still don't have a clear idea of how to fit them all together. I will keep working on it all, though I may feel like despairing now and then. It's just so hard to deny oneself, and pick up that cross which must be borne daily.

Being productive?

Now that I am without facebook I turn on my computer, check both my emails and sign into chat..... then realize that I have nothing else to do. I'm so used to signing into facebook, checking my notifications, using my stalker feed to find out everything everyone has done since the last time I was on, and doing more detailed stalking of specific people. Of course, I sign into the chat there too, and see if anyone gets on that I can talk with. The problem with facebook is that I can't just check it and be good. It's a live-updating thing..... so I stay on..... and keep refreshing and stalking people.... and keep checking on new things that come up.... and go back over old stuff..... and it just eats all my time. Now, I check my emails and I'm done. I feel like I may start being more prodcutive. I guess I was a bit more focused last night as I was preparing my sources for my final paper. Now that I don't have anything else to do on my computer, I have the feeling that I will be able to actually start on work I need to do and focus on it without the distraction of constantly refreshing my facebook page. Actually, I'm feeling good about not having facebook, if you can believe it. I miss it, but at the same time, I feel good and even relieved. This is good. This is what I need. I'm still a little lost without facebook, but I'm finding my way. And now I know that if I get too dependant on facebook again, I can survive without it and will deactivate it again.

Hmm, I never did talk about why I decided to deactivate in the first place. Well, you can kinda get part of the picture from what I said earlier about how much time I spend just stalking and following up on everything on there. And obsessing about refreshing and checking for new stuff. It just ate so much of my time and I really fell into quite an unproductive rut. I would also end up getting almost depressed, in a sense, because either no one was interacting with me, no one had noticed or said anything about rough times I was going through, or one of the biggest depressing factors was seeing all the stuff going on in my friends' lives. There are a lot of upsetting things to be seen in people's news feeds. I won't explain in detail, but I was just getting upset over things I was seeing, and especially things going on with people I care about. I was getting too involved and it wasn't good for me. So I removed myself from it all. Definitely needed a break and time to refocus.

Now I must be off to studio class and then actually do some studying! (and sleep..... I get to sleep tonight..... Mmmm, that will be wonderful.)

Winter Term

So I'm back at school and into the last week of Winter Term. Feels so weird! I'm definitely not ready for the semester to start yet. There's so much I was hoping to accomplish over winter term, but have not been able to do so. Of course, I haven't exactly been managing my time very well. I've been practicing a good amount, though not as much as I had intended to. I have been spending more time with people and getting to know some of my classmates better, so that's good. Thing is, haha, I still have not completely unpacked from break..... *shhh* I'll get to that eventually. Need to make a clean start to the semester. Also need to get myself back into a decent sleeping schedule. Well, I guess that unless I get scheduled for work early in the morning, I could actually sleep to a later hour during the semester on Tue, Thu, and Fri. But all the same, it's not good for me to stay up as late as I do all the time. But I love the night time! I love sleep too, but I can do that anytime. kinda. But I love the quiet at night and being able to hang out and be goofy. Hm. Choices. Anyway, time to get back to stuff. I waste too much time online. Going to actually hang out with the girls I live with. It's sad how little I see them, even though I live with them.

Should be studying...

Ugghh. Two finals tomorrow. It's already after 11 PM. I've been gone from my duplex since 10:30 this morning, and I've been in the music building since 2. (made a quick trip across the street to acquire food and brought it back with me.) I sat in a practice room for literally 3 hours. Not practicing, I don't need to do that. But I was using the piano to work on learning the leadline for the first movement of Beethoven's first symphony. Yeah, that's right, I have to sing the leadline to the first movement while conducting and cuing an invisible orchestra in front of my professor for my final tomorrow. So yeah, I was in the practice room working on that and marking up my score, but kept getting distracted and played the piano instead. Now I'm blogging instead of focusing on my studying. This is so frustrating. I studied my German (for my other final tomorrow) a little bit while I was at work, but not terrible much. I also studied it a little bit before I locked myself away in the practice room. But I keep ending up on the piano, or online *ahem* or writing completely unrelated stuff. But I still have some final details to add to my score analysis and need to study for German. Sad thing is, I just don't care at all right now. Rather burnt out. But I have determined to stay here until 1 (AM), then maybe study a bit more before going to bed. Then rise and shine early in the morning to refresh the German before taking the final. Blah. I also need to pack..... but I have a final on Thursday I'll need to prepare for after my two tomorrow. But I'm flying home right after my Thursday final. Too much to doooo!!!!

Ok, now that I've wasted some time on that, have to revise stuff with my score and add to it for a while (whilst waiting for midnight to arrive so that I can be the first to wish a friend happy birthday), then focus on German for an hour. Then a walk in the extreme cold back to my duplex, more studying for a little while, bed, early rise to study more, then the two finals. Whoop! Or not.....

Busy busy busy.... here comes my recital!

So this will be brief, as I am only on lunch break between classes.

Life is soo busy, and especially this week. But Thanksgiving is almost here, and before you know it, the semester will be over! Yesss! The past couple weeks I've been averaging 5-6 hours of sleep a night, and it's starting to tell. I feel myself fraying around the edges, constantly worn out, and now I think I'm getting sick. Not good. Friday is my Junior recital, and I would really like to be healthy and rested for it. Problem is, Friday morning I have a test in German.... normally I will stay up till 1:30 or 2 studying the night before, then get up again at 7 to study some more before work. Can't do that this week, must sleep before the recital. I'm feeling pretty good about the recital itself, I'm prepared and surprisingly, not nervous. I just have to somehow manage to get through everything I have before that point in time.... but beyond all the crap that I don't want to think about, I'm really excited about my recital! I've never felt so secure and prepared on my music before! I have a lot of friends coming, including many wonderful people from the community, and many of my knitting group ladies are taking the place of my family (who won't be able to make it, too far away), and providing the reception. I have such amazing friends. :) Oh, and I get to wear a lovely dress. Always a nice thing. Problem is, I have to find shoes.... hate shoes. I always play barefoot, but I can't give my recital barefoot, unfortunately. So.... I am attempting to locate a pair of silver flats of some sort.... ugh. Maybe I will post some pictures here after the recital.... maybe. Depends on how good they turn out.

Alright, must clean up from lunch and prepare to head out for class again. I just felt like posting something, since I haven't in a while.

A fun night to close off a very stressful week.

My weeks are just a continuous cycle of stress, with this past week being the worst one yet. But last night I had a wonderful time! My professor for my Words in German music class wanted us to go see Die Zauberflöte together next month since we'll be studying it, but there was another opera this weekend called Ariadne auf Naxos. Neither are required, but Die Zauberflöte is highly recommended and Ariadne auf Naxos was just a good idea. Well, the prof didn't bring up the opera this weekend until Monday.... so it was difficult to figure out who wanted to/was able to go, and work out those details. Three of us wanted to go, but none of us have cars and I am the only one with a driver's license. So.... yeah, complicated. One of the girls thought she could borrow a room-mates car, but we found out last night that nope, no car. So... we got out of orchestra rehearsal at 5:30 knowing we would have to leave by 6:30, and had no car. The girl who said she could get the car decided not to go, so the other girl and myself were going crazy trying to find someone with a car that either we could borrow or who wanted to come along. (our prof lives an hour away so we couldn't get a ride from him or anything.) Finally, after a lot of asking and stressing, I was able to borrow one of my room-mates cars. That was 6:30. I then had to run from the other girl's house to go print up directions on my way to my duplex on the opposite side of campus. We both changed super quickly, I grabbed the keys to the car and picked up the other girl and we were off at about 6:45. (according to the directions, it's supposed to take 1 hour 7 minutes, and the opera started at 8. really cutting it close.) I decided I would have to speed the whole way, at least 5 miles over the limit. I don't like to speed. The worst part is that the highways here in Indiana are 70... minimum of 65. I had never gone that fast before. I also have a terrible sense of direction and hate driving when I have no clue where I'm going. But we were a good team. I had a great time getting to know the other girl better on the way. We arrived at the opera just barely in time to get tickets, but had to sit in the back of the ground floor for the first act since we wouldn't be able to get to our seats in the third balcony in time. At the end of the first act, we went up to the third balcony and showed the ushers our tickets, and they told us that if we wanted to, we could go down to the second balcony and take some of the free seats there. So- we ended up sitting in some box seats that would have been really pricey, hehe! We had a great view of the pit, but it was actually kindof awkward to lean over the rail a little bit to see some of the action on stage. But anyway, back to intermission, because this part is important. After we took our seats in the balcony, our prof started talking to us about our past opera experiences. He had already found out that I had never been before, and was asking the other girl what she had seen and where. Then he turned to me and asked where I was from. I told him from CT and he said yeah, I thought so since I noticed that your area code when you called me was 860. At first I thought it was my mom since she still lives in CT. It turns out that he grew up in Storrs and I live in North Windham, mere minutes away! We were both so surprised to find that out about each other and immediately started talking about the area and what we new about it. So cool!

After the opera was over, the other girl and myself headed out to find a gas station and then make our way back. (It was already 11 at night.) On the way back, we looked through some of my room-mates CD's and ended up listening to Michael Jackson.... after seeing a Strauss opera... and then found out we both listened to NPR shows and started talking about Prairie Home Companion, Car Talk, etc. So cool! Once we got back to campus, I watched the end of the Mask of Zorro with my room-mates, love that movie! Very strange sequence to the night though. Dress rehearsal for concert celebrating the 125 anniversary of the school of music, Strauss opera, Michael Jackson, NPR, then the Mask of Zorro. But heck, it was a lot of fun! (the to top it off I slept until 1:00. Loveliness! So yeah, it was a wonderful night to make up for a terrible week.

I am now listening to some more Michael Jackson... (whom I've never really listened to before)...writing this post, obviously, working on a crocheted hat, and waiting for the wonderful dinner two of my room-mates are making, after which I shall proceed on to the 125 anniversary, Old Gold weekend concert! Woot!!!

Oh life.....

So the day has come when I once again have a computer.... except that I no longer have my power cord.... they have lost it. Meh. Hopefully going four weeks without easy access to a computer will help me to limit the amount of time I spend on my computer now. But you know, I just don't have any time on my hands anyway. This semester is sooo crazy. If I manage to survive with some semblance of sanity intact, it will be a miracle. I just may have taken on more than I can handle right now... but darn it all, I am going to stick with it all! But oh man..... 9 classes.... plus 12 hours of work a week..... plus homework, practicing...... eating..... sleep? *sigh* There's no way all of those things can happen, or at least not to a sufficient degree. But ack, can't start complaining. I have been having some fun as well. I love living with my girls, even if I rarely see them, and even if the dudes downstairs play their music so loud you can feel the bass thrumming through your bed.... but that's why I have purchased ear plugs. :) One thing that's helping me cope is my knitting group. (I'm a crocheter, actually, but they let me join them, haha.) I have planned into my schedule twice a week when we all meet, and even though I usually end up doing homework during our noontime meeting halfway through the week, it's still nice to relax with those wonderful ladies. I have really grown to love so many people from this community, and I'm so glad I have so many good friends I can go to if I need to, or to just know that they are there for me.

Other random tidbits, since my mind is wandering and I should go to bed soon.....
-First orchestra concert of the season is on Sunday, it's going to be fun! We haven't had as long to rehearse as we'd like, but oh well, we'll be fine.
-I'm back to my anonymous vandalizing of my professor's door..... well ok, not vandalism, but... mischief I suppose you could say. Harmless mischief. :P
-More people have been noticing my barefeet this past month than the past two years, it's pretty awesome! It's funny how you can go a couple years before people finally start to notice there's something a little odd going on...

Ok, that's all for now. I will have to write again later, and hopefully something substantial, unlike my posts up to date.