Formal happenings.

So I went to a fraternity formal in St. Louis yesterday evening, that was an interesting experience. The only formal I've been to before was actually a sorority formal with my evil twin last semester. Little different. For one thing, I was going with a girl, to a formal run by girls, at a place just over an hour away. This time I went with a guy, to a formal run by guys, at a hotel four hours away, in which we stayed overnight afterward. It was a lot of fun, but tiring. I'm not a big social person. I prefer small groups of people, and even then, after a while I just want to escape and be alone. There are actually very few people whose company I could stand and even desire to have for hours at a time. So even though it was a small group, about 30 or less people total, it was still too much for me after a while. I'm also not a big dancer. I'm not ashamed to admit it- I'm awkward, uncoordinated, and have a very poor sense of balance. So unless I'm with some really good friends, I hardly dance at all. Now of course, being a music major, I love music, so I always wind up grooving to the beat in my chair or as I stand, singing along if I know the song, but I rarely actually full-out dance. It was fun watching others dance and just observing, as I do wherever I am, but I got tired of that after a while too. I kinda wanted to dance, but I also didn't want to make a fool of myself in front of a lot of people I don't really know, and I knew that about halfway through the song, though I would have had fun for a while, I'd tire of looking ridiculous and moving around in all the silly motions known as dancing, and would want to sit again. I did dance a few times though. My date made me dance a few songs with him, and then I danced to a couple line dances (which I love), and to another song with one of my girl friends there.

As usual at any social event containing people I know and am at least semi close to, there were things that frustrated and upset me last night. Things people did, words that were said, the thoughts behind words, or just the lack of thought, and by the time the night was over I was rather disappointed, frustrated, and just tired. The whole evening wasn't terrible or anything, despite all the negative thoughts I've put forth so far. The food was great, and I had a really good table of people to share it with. A lot of good laughs, and for the most part I really enjoyed watching the people there, listening to most of the music, and even dancing to some of it. I also enjoyed getting to know the girl I was sharing a room with a little better. But I guess overall the whole experience just left me tired, physically, emotionally, and socially. I just can't take that many people (esp when I know less than half of them) for that length of time, am not a party-type, and was definitely ready for it to be over. Then to top it off, after all the socializing was finally over, I went to bed and ended up laying awake for most of the night. I don't sleep well in new beds, and I was sharing this one, which also makes things tough for me. But my mind was also incredibly full, so I ended up just laying awake from about quarter of two in the morning until about five in the morning before I finally slept, kindof. We got up at 8:30 in order to get back to school in time for a concert I was performing in, so I am quite exhausted now from the events of last night and the lack of sleep. However, since it is only just about 9 here, it's far too early to be going to bed yet. I decided to update my blog, even though now I realize this is rather cryptic and negative, and though I am quite often cryptic I usually strive to remain positive, or at least only show my positive side.... Oh well. I'm going to call home soon since I haven't done so in close to two weeks, and then I'm going to go sit outside in one of my favorite spots and wrestle through stuff. It does help a bit just to write about some stuff.